Priscilla Rowbottom on Homoeopathy and the Nation-State

Now where did homoeopathy go, I'm sure I put it down somewhere...

Now where did homoeopathy go, I’m sure I put it down somewhere…

And now another post from my highly erudite colleague and close – but not too close – friend…to be taken with many grains of salt while the tongue is firmly embedded in the cheek…In the interests of political correctness, no offence is intended to any nation, state, or to anyone who happens to be called Priscilla Rowbottom…

Well, the day has come! I have finally had my homoeopathic epiphany! The trumpets sounded, the sea of confusion parted, and the glorious light of …enlightenment seared my vision…

We have been doing homoeopathy all wrong.

How could I have been so wrong? How didn’t I see it before?

I know you’re all excited, you’re thinking maybe I found the hidden 7th edition of the Organon (shhhh… I have but I’m not telling….), maybe I met with Hahnemann on the astral plane (I tried, but he wasn’t in even though I knocked and knocked),  maybe I overdosed on Opium 10M…

No my friends… the secret to correct practice of homoeopathy is – wait for it – the United Nations. Well, not the UN per se, but the individual nations that populate our planet. After all, we all know that homoeopathy works on essences of personality, don’t we? And we all know that every nation, obviously, has its own personality? Except for those living near disputed borders, who are obviously either schizophrenic or multiples. Just look at those poor souls living in Alsace Lorraine…

So now, finally, we can take all – well, most – complexity out of prescribing. Yes, we can…

The Brits – well obviously, so “what-will-others-think”, it’s Calc Carb for you… all of you…except perhaps the exhibitionists…

The Scots – all that swearin’, drinkin’, fightin’, hmm, let’s go for Glenfiddich 10M

The French – birthplace of Bridgitte Bardot? Say no more, Hyos 50M for the lot of -em…

The Germans – so intent, so focused, I mean, just look at Hahnemann.  It’s Nux-vomica for you, and you, and you… oh, but lots of you are blond…so perhaps Pulsatilla…

The Americans – well, saving the world for…Microsoft? Wallmart?  well, saviours anyway, so obviously Veratrum all the way…

See just how easy it is? And those I mentioned before, the Alsace Lorrainians? We just treat them with combinations! A combo of Nux-V, Pulsatilla and Hyos! How very delicious! A few drops in the choucroute and everyone will be healthy…

What about people who’ve moved from country to country, I hear you asking. Easy peasy! I say…

Here’s an example – someone moved from Saudi Arabia to Ireland? Well, Saudi Arabia, that’s a monarchy, there’s kings and such, so give ’em all Aurum! (Come to think of it – give all the Monarchies Aurum, can’t get easier than that!)  And Ireland – well that’s very green, plus there’s Guinness, so how about Aur-Guinn (or is it Guinn-Aur) in – let’s be original here, LM475 and a half.

And Bob’s your uncle!

What? What’s that you say? Prescribing symptoms? Nope, sorry, can’t hear you…anyway – b-o-o-o-r-r-r-ing…

Well, tara then, I’m off to prepare a special new remedy – Iceberg 50C – which will do wonders for all that ails them in Iceland…I’ve been offered new offices for my clinic in the UN building, how wonderful!

 

 

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